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Pilot

Downsizing? Yeah, I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say: Bring it on.
	Dwight		00:12	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

I don't think it would be the worst thing if they let me go. Because then I might... I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream to be a receptionist. Um, I like to do illustrations. Um, mostly watercolor, few oil pencil, um, Jim thinks they're good.
	Pam		00:21	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

People I respect, heroes of mine, would be Bob Hope, um, Abraham Lincoln, definitely, Bono, uh, and probably God would be the fourth one. And I- I just think all those people really uh, helped the world in so many ways that it's um, it's really beyond words. It's really incalculable.
	Michael		00:39	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

You can't do that. Why not? Safety violation. I could fall and pierce... an organ.
	Dwight, Jim		00:09	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Now, I know there's some rumors out there and I just kinda want to set the record straight. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh I'm assistant regional manager, I should know first. Assistant to the regional manager. Yeah, but- okay. Um, can you just tell me please? Just tell me quietly. Well I'm about to tell everyone. Can you whisper it in my ear? I'm just about to tell everyone! Please? Can't you just tell us? Okay. Please! Okay. Do you want me to tell them? You don't know what it is. Hehehe. So I- Okay, you tell them. With my permission. I don't need permission. Permission granted. Go ahead.
	Michael, Dwight		00:20	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

This is accounting, the numbers dudes. Do not let the job description fool you, they are all completely crazy. Especially that guy, he is a mental patient! Heheheh, not literally of course. That wouldn't work. Last place you'd want somebody like that is accounting. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Michael		00:14	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Hello, I'm Michael Scott. I'm the best boss in the world. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Michael		00:05	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Whew... freaked myself out this morning. Oh yeah? Yeah, thought I uh, found a lump. I check the uh, check the jewels every month, this time, eh, it's a little... different. It was fine, it's fine, but freaky man, you know? Testicular cancer? God. Cancer ooh testicos. What's um, whatcha eating? Smoked turkey. Oh, oh place from the corner? Mm-hm. Nice. Eh! See you later! Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Michael, Pam		00:37	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Ah, right here. Three stooges. High five! Oh Pam, it's a guy thing Pam. Now, who's the one before Shemp? Curly. Curly! Very good! Curly Joe DeRita. No, just Curly. Joe DeRita was different. Well, comedy's kind of my thing. Watch this, this is, here's uh, here's Curly Joe: mm! Mememememememe. Mememememememememe. Alright, here we go, here we go... [gibberish] gahgahgahgahgah. Gahgahgahgahgahgah! I'm Hitler! Right? Gah! Gahgahgahgah! Mememememe. Curly Joe Hitler. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Michael, Ryan		00:39	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Do I need to speak up? Hello? No no, can you move it? Is that alright? Can you make that work? That's fine. No, you don't need to- you don't need to- that's fine. We'll keep it. I'm sorry it makes nervous. Oh, understood. But it's- it's what we need to capture what you're saying as clearly as possible. I understand, it's in a blind spot. Because I'm trained in several martial arts, and one of them uh, includes uh, an awareness that the masters bring uh, of anything on all sides of you. It could be behind you, whatever. This is directly in a blindspot, so I am trained to respond negatively to something right above my head. This now I have an eye on, you see? It's in my periphery, and if I needed to block it, attack it, stop it somehow, I could come right out. I mean, I know you're doing your job, but I'm doing my job. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Dwight, Audio guy		01:09	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Dwight Schrute, my father's name also Dwight Schrute. My grandfather's name: Dwide Schrude. Amish. That's my family. I don't know where they came- the Amish came from originally, an Am-land? Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Dwight		00:14	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

People respond to the human touch, and that's what I give them. I can look at a client and I can say, "Hello, how are you? How's- how's business been going?" and we can go back and forth for some time and uh, then I'll say, "How much, how many reams do you want?" And they'll order it and then I'll take care of all the sales, I'll make sure that they get that paper. And the appreciate that. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Dwight		00:32	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Pam! Pam Pam! Pam's been with us for uh, forever, right Pam? I guess. Yup. At one time or another, every guy in the office has sprayed on Pam. What? Messages? Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Michael, Pam		00:11	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

I think better to be a happy idiot than a um, than someone who knows the truth. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Michael		00:06	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

All these people are walking around, and they're happy and their lives are just going along and ignorance is bliss, but if they knew what was lurking on the other side of that fence, that- that furry monster I'm gonna get you downsizing! No, they wouldn't, they'd freak, and I'm not gonna play God. They look to me for support, and they look to me for guidance and leadership. I think if I can lie to them and it serves them, then that's what I'm gonna do. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Michael		00:29	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

My name is Jim Halpert, and I am a sales rep, which is a very important job. Um, with out me, dozens, literally dozens of small businesses would go paperless. They'd have to write on their hands, or bedsheets, or who knows, you know? Total chaos. Total chaos. I mean, or they could get their paper somewhere else. Staples maybe. I don't know. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Jim		00:27	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

My name's Angela and um, I'm in charge of the accounting department. There are three of us, Kevin and Oscar. It's my job to keep the books in order, and um, I-I'm um, uh immediately below my supervisor. Oscar, how do I describe him? He's like a stapler. Do I need a stapler? Yes. But I'm still the one that has to push it down. There's a lot of anxiety. I don't want to get laid off. This place is like, five minutes from my house. I don't want to be laid off. This is a good job for me, 'cause I need my nights free. I'm in a band. Not very worried about downsizing right now, because uh, I think you've met Kevin, and um- Can I just say one thing? Um, my friend is Jewish, Eric Gellar, and a couple of years ago he uh, um, uh, showed me how to- I can plant a tree in Israel. So I- I planted a tree, so you know 'cause, yeah, we work in paper. Well, you know, I try to, uh, give back. I have a lot of cat figurines on my desk. I think cats, really, are old souls, and uh, Phyllis thinks so too. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Angela, Oscar, Kevin		01:25	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Very interesting, but stupid! Quote Tags: Deleted Scene
	Michael		00:03	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

What you don't know, well, it-it can hurt you, but if you don't know it won't hurt you. Then, you can just be happy for a little while, at least. Quote Tags: Deleted Scene, Talking Head
	Michael		00:10	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Oh, this is so important I should run to answer it.
	Michael		00:03	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Oh, this is so important I should run to answer it. Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.... Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta....
	Michael		00:23	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head, you know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Um, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry.
	Jim		00:14	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Pilot

Ringy dingy dingy! Quote Tags: Request
	Michael		00:01	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

All

The office phone ringing
	Phone		00:01	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

All

Another phone ringing
	Phone		00:01	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

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Another office phone ringing
	Phone		00:01	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

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The theme song played at the beginning of each episode
	The Scrantones		00:33	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone
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