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Golden Ticket

Hey, hey, hey... you idiot! Start over! Sir, I placed a bunch of golden tickets into five separate boxes and some how they all ended up with Blue Cross. How does this happen? Were the boxes near each other? Irrelevant. I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. They use a lot of paper. OK, I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest. What is a pallet?
	Michael, Darryl		00:28	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Would you like to go to lunch with me? Just the two of us? With all my heart.
	Michael, Dwight		00:07	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

We think a lot alike. Sometimes you will think something, and I will say what you're thinking-- Okay, what am I thinking right now? Um, nacho chips. No! I'm thinking about how skin is the largest organ of the body. Okay, let me just cut to the chase, Dwight. I want you to fall on your sword for me. Oh, not gonna happen.
	Michael, Dwight		00:22	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

I did fall on my sword once. I was running with it in my belt. Won't happen again. Quote Tags: Talking Head
	Dwight		00:04	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Why do you even want to stay at Dunder Mifflin? I mean, what's the point? You're cooped up in there, all day. You don't get to do your farming... You're not dating Angela anymore. It doesn't matter if you get fired for taking credit for the gold ticket idea. It doesn't matter! Me on the other hand, I would be lost without this place. You, way too manly. What about Shoe La La? It's not ready yet.
	Michael, Dwight		00:23	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

I have an idea for a fancy men's shoe store called Shoe La La, and it's just men's shoes for the special occasions in a man's life, like the day that you get married or the day your wife has a baby, or for just lounging around the house... Quote Tags: Talking Head
	Michael		00:18	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

I love working here, and I do not want to leave. He doesn't love it that much. Wouldn't be such a bad thing for him to be fired. Well... I mean, like we were talking about, that is why he has come to the conclusion that he is going to- We discussed the fact that I'm cooped up here instead of experiencing the whole wide world. Right. No plowing my own acres... going around shirtless all day. You know, experiencing freedom. That's it. That's it, you can't put a price on freedom. Try me. That's why you've made the decision. That's why you made... I haven't made a decision yet. You kind of have. No. Yes.
	Dwight, Michael		00:37	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

You cannot take the fall for him. He said he would do the same for me. He can do the same for you... Right now... By getting fired instead of you. So what're you gonna do? I'm gonna go back to work... After I write you up for insubordination. There he is.
	Jim, Dwight		00:19	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Oh my God. Dwight! Dwight! Get in. What's it gonna be, what're you gonna do? What's it gonna be? Are you gonna do this thing for me? Dwight? Hey David, how are you? Hey. Good to see you. Nice surprise. Yah. Dwight and I were just having a very unfortunate conversation. Huh. That's too bad. Yes it is, but it had to be done, didn't it? Hopefully, nothing that can't be undone because Dwight, I owe you an apology. The head of Blue Cross just called; they were so excited by the golden ticket discount that they have decided to make Dunder Mifflin their exclusive provider of all office supplies. Congratulations Dwight. Mmmm- David... you're welcome.
	Michael, David, Dwight		00:59	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

I just want to say that this golden ticket idea is one of the most brilliant signs of initiative I've ever seen at this company and how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute? Alright Dwight! This is huge! That's what she said!
	David, Jim, Dwight		00:19	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Dwight, great idea! How'd you come up with that idea? Inspiration. Really? How did- how were you inspired? You never know when it's gonna strike. How did it pop into your head Dwight? Just... boom. Just give me the details of how that happened. You- you are taking about Dwight Schrute. The biggest Wonka fan I know. I mean, you've been talking about that movie for years. What? And you know what? I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea and for that I apologize. Apology rejected!
	Michael, Dwight, Jim		00:27	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Good work, kid. Thanks, old man!
	Creed, Dwight		00:02	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Here's what happened, David. It was all my idea. You called me, and you were really angry at me and I got scared, so I had Dwight take the fall, but now, it turns out that it's a great idea and Dwight will not confess. Can you believe that?! No- no. It is my idea. Oh, how dare you? It is my idea! I'm filled with good ideas. Thousands of good ideas! You are? Yeah! Good ideas, huh? Hey, did you come up with toilet buddy? It's a net, a circular net, you put inside the toilet to catch all of your change and your wallet from falling into the toilet? Formally known as toilet guard? Horse Boat! Oh, please. A canoe built around your horse so you can go from riding to water travel without slowing down. Horse Boat! Toilet sponge! It's a hollowed out sponge- Oh, give me a break. -that is more absorbent, and softer than toilet paper. I have a lot of toilet ideas. That's 'cause they're easy! They're not easy. Toilet piano bench! Women's urinals! Everybody has to go to the bathroom. Guys, guys. OK, enough. Please, enough.
	Michael, David, Dwight		00:58	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Golden Ticket

Hi. Lynn, I'm just gonna say to you everything that I'm thinking. Okay. I think you have the best smile. I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie. Okay. Nice. ...Boobs.
	Kevin, Lynn		00:20	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Look at that, Cupids and hearts. Really shoving our faces in it this year. You doin okay, bud? I miss Stacy. Yeah, I hear ya. It's been four months since I was with Holly, and she was way hotter then Stacy. So if you think you're hurting... I can't even imagine.
	Michael, Kevin		00:19	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

So, I received my first Valentine from a secret admirer... Roses are red, violets are blue, it's time for your dental cleaning, and maybe a check-up too. Quote Tags: Talking Head
	Kelly		00:14	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

I am about to give blood. The gift of everlasting life, the transfer of my bodily fluids- oh wow, that's a big needle, that- You're gonna need to lie down right over here. Okay. Hello. Hi, I cant talk right now, I'm sorry. Oh, okay. Whew, I'm really nervous. Yeah, me too. Yeah, when I get nervous I sort of clam up. Oh, well, that's fine. Whew, it's better for me just to be quiet, yeah. Yeah. Ahhh, yep. Can I point something out to you? Sure. You're actually talking a lot. Yeah, sorry, it's the other thing I do when I get really nervous. Okay, here we go. Alright, here we go. Oh, God. Just relax. Yup, I'm good, whew. Wow, I feel like a human juicebox. Oh God... Hawaiian blood punch. Oh, that's gross. Type Oooocean Spray. God, stop. Stop it.
	Michael, Nurse, Girl Giving Blood		00:56	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Eeeehhkk. What? I looked at the bag. Ohhh. I looked straight at the bag. That's not good. Could you distract me for a second? Just talk about things that don't have blood in them. Well, uh, okay, uh... bags! What? That-? Alright, that was bad. That was mean. Um, a hat. A hat. A hat with no blood in it? That is full of soup. You're cute. What? You're done. Oh, already? Ah, we did it! Whew, wow I was so nervous about this, I don't think I ate for three days. Is he OK?
	Michael, Blood Drive Girl, Nurse		00:40	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

What are you doing? Decorating. I'll help. Now it's just a stupid baby. Yeah... thanks.
	Meredith, Kelly		00:11	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Well here we all are... Alone but together... No flowers for us. Relationships? We don't need no stinking relationships!
	Michael		00:09	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Do you risk telling him how you feel? Do you say something that you can barely admit to yourself? So... Oh God, what did you do? I mean, not that I approve of any of it but... I was stupid, I told him. Was he in to you in like a gay way? Moron, if he was there wouldn't be a story. He told me he wasn't gay. Really sad. I'm not done yet. Oh my God. A week later a friend of mine calls me up, and he says "I just saw him in a gay bar in Kansas City." Wow. Well then it's a happy ending, because he was gay. You should call him!
	Oscar, Angela, Kevin, Michael		00:36	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Alright who's next? Where's Andy? He's on one of his honeymoons. What? He made non-refundable deposits on his honeymoons, so he's just knocking them off one at a time. I think today he's hot air ballooning, and later he's got a couple's massage.
	Michael, Oscar		00:16	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

You know what guys? I don't think we need to do this. You're right. Okay everyone, back to work. No, no, no, no. I mean have this kind of party. I look around and I see all these beautiful people who are alone on Valentine's, and I think that there are other single people out there too. We just need to find them. There's a girl out there for all of us, maybe even in this office park. There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together. A net? A giant net? No, not a giant net. A-a-a- What do you have in mind? I was thinking maybe like a mixer. Oh God, that's a terrible idea. Old fashioned meet market- No. I don't think it is. Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation? Hah, you're not allowing natural selection to do its work. Pssh. You're like the guy who invented the seat belt.
	Michael, Dwight		00:45	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Ohhh... So how you holding up? I'm okay. Feel a little lopsided because of all the blood they took out of my right side. No, no, I meant about being single today. Oh... Meh. Meh, exactly... Eh.
	Michael, Dwight		00:11	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

I can untie any knot. I'm serious. Name a knot, any knot. Go ahead. I- I- believe you. You shouldn't believe everything you hear. In fact, there are many knots that I cannot untie.
	Dwight, Blonde Girl		00:11	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Just about everybody in this office is single right now. Including me. And everyone is experiencing an incredible amount of emotional pain. Especially me, because of my great capacity for emotion, and it is my first Valentine's Day since Holly, so I think that I am well qualified to understand that these people need to be protected from having love shoved into their faces. Quote Tags: Talking Head
	Michael		00:28	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

I've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself. Quote Tags: Talking Head
	Dwight		00:07	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

Oh my God, how long was I out? What? Excuse me, waitress, where did the lady go? Oh, she left. Okay. Oh, wait a second, wait a second, that's hers. This is hers, she left her glove. I need her name if I'm gonna return her glove. Oh, I'm sorry sir we can't give out that information.
	Michael, Hank, Nurse		00:25	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

My worst breakup was actually two breakups, two different men. I was in love with both of them, and when things went bad, they had a duel over me. Yeah, Dwight and Andy. We were here. No, this was years ago, when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David. Angela, you had two sets of different men actually duel over you? I guess I have... Hm.
	Angela, Oscar		00:27	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone

Blood Drive

My worst breakup was with Stacy. It was a Sunday morning, we were reading the paper, and I said "Oh my God, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East!" and she said that... we're done.
	Kevin		00:17	The Office Sound Clip The Office Audio Clip The Office MP3 Clip The Office Sound Byte The Office Sound Bite The Office Ringtone
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